Five Steps for Having More Productive Political Conversations
These strategies are backed by social science and can increase the odds of your perspective actually being heard.
It can feel impossible to discuss political topics these days, but social science offers strategies to improve these conversations. These tips, which I call the "5 R's"—Respect, Relate, Reframe, Revise, and Repeat—are not about changing someone’s mind. Instead, they focus on creating space for mutual understanding, reducing polarization, and fostering productive dialogue. These techniques aren’t just for politics—they can help with any difficult conversation.
1. Establish Respect for Each Other
Establishing mutual respect sounds straightforward, but it is a critical foundation for any productive conversation. Research has found that people are more likely to reflect on their own attitudes and also feel satisfied with the conversation when they feel heard and validated. Avoid attacking or shaming, as this often causes defensiveness. Instead:
Practice active listening (positive nonverbal and verbal feedback, summarize what they say to make sure you understand their points).
Seek to understand, resist the urge to judge, and embrace curiosity.
Remember that empathy doesn’t mean endorsement; listening to someone’s perspective doesn’t mean you agree with it.
2. Relate to a Shared Identity
Research has shown that highlighting a shared American identity can reduce polarization and people are more receptive to ideas shared by ingroup members and those they trust. Highlighting a mutual connection—whether it's being from the same community, sharing religious values, or having similar family concerns—can reduce biases and make your message more relatable. You can even start with a shared hobby or interest first before diving into the topic where you disagree. A large study evaluated many different strategies that could reduce political polarization and connecting to a shared identity was one of the most powerful techniques!
3. Reframe Your Message
It’s easy to think about why we care about a particular topic, but our reason may not resonate with everyone. Listen to what the other person cares about and try to reframe your message to address the other person’s values and concerns. For example, research has found that conservatives are more receptive to liberal policies when they are framed in terms of purity, patriotism, and supporting the status quo. Additionally, liberals are more supportive of conservative policies when they are framed in terms of how they help lower-income people. You may find that the other person actually agrees with you more than you thought, but you just need to reframe your message so it can connect with them.
4. Revise Your Questions
Carefully revise your questions to encourage critical thinking. Encouraging thoughtful deliberation in a like-minded group discussion has been shown to reduce polarization and reflecting on accuracy decreases belief & sharing of fake news. One simple way to encourage this type of thinking is to use "how" questions (e.g., "How do you know this is true?"). This promotes reflection and reduces reliance on simplistic or binary arguments. Research has shown that simply asking for reasons to justify one’s beliefs can increase polarization, but asking to describe a step-by-step mechanism of how a policy works does not. Try to understand how confident they are and how they arrived at their conclusion (and also reflect on “how” you know something to be true as well).
5. Repeat
Discussing politics in a single conversation can be challenging, but it can get easier and more productive over time (though it’s not always a linear path). Engaging in superficial interactions with those who hold different views—such as debating with strangers on social media—can actually increase polarization. In contrast, building meaningful relationships with people who think differently can foster greater understanding and help reduce polarized beliefs. Even as we improve our ability to navigate digital and social spaces, studies show that regular reminders and practice are essential for maintaining these skills.
The next time you share your perspective with someone who disagrees with you, try using these steps to make the conversation more productive. Not only can thoughtful discussions help convey your points more effectively, but they might also reveal opportunities to reflect on and refine your own reasoning. Productive dialogue helps everyone involved!
These strategies are explored in greater depth in my forthcoming book, Misguided, where I delve into how social and psychological factors influence how we process information.